Ladies and Gentlemen: The Next President of the United States (Update: Tuesday Afternoon Edition)

Sarah Louise Heath Palin (R-Alaska),
45^th President of the United States of America,
shown with members of the Alaska National Guard.

Only four more years...

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Previous Version (Tuesday morning):

Barack Hussein Obama II (D-Illinois),
44^th President of the United States of America,
shown with Reverend Jeremiah Wright,
Obama's long-time friend, some-time spiritual adviser,
and full-time America-hater.

And so, on the day after Martin Luther King day, we will inaugurate as President a man who was elected based only on the color of his skin, with no apparent regard for the content of his character.

I don't know if this is what Dr. King had in mind, or not.

Plague Devastates AQ Training Camp

The God of the Hebrews is at it again:

At least 40 al-Qaeda fanatics died horribly after being struck down with the disease that devastated Europe in the Middle Ages....

The al-Qaeda epidemic began in the cave hideouts of AQLIM in Tizi Ouzou province, 150km east of the capital Algiers. The group, led by wanted terror boss Abdelmalek Droudkal, was forced to turn its shelters in the Yakouren forest into mass graves and flee.

And he's only getting started:

Now al-Qaeda chiefs fear the plague has been passed to other terror cells — or Taliban fighters in Afghanistan.

Aloha Snackbar!